It's Friday!

:D

I am so grateful for what the Lord has been doing! I met up with my friend a couple Saturday's ago, and we worked everything out! Seriously, communication skills are not to be underestimated. I was thinking that our friendship was over, but now it's better than it's ever been.

I was so nervous to do the difficult thing, but like the word says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17

Yays! Makes me want to skip & sing!

Project Runway

Okay, so I know I'm way late in posting about Project Runway, but here's my take on the finale:

Kenely didn't win. She didn't deserve to, not by a long shot.
HOWEVER-
I am absolutely in LOVE with this dress! It's so incredibly creative. The hand-painted detailing is superb, and it's a fun/frilly dress. It makes me want to twirl.



This is the only one of Korto's designs that I thought was Bryant-Park worthy. The garments were nice, but they were looks I felt I'd seen before.



Here's a few from Leanne's line, which just goes to show that I would have to agree with the judges' choice:







I'd want all of these looks (except I wouldn't wear the outfit with the shorts- I just loved that jacket!

Pretty, Pretty clothing.

More Than Meets The Eye

I stepped out in faith. I did the hard thing by telling someone the painful truth, even though I knew it could mean the end of our friendship. Truth overcame my fear. And God blessed me for it.

I got a great text back. Part of it said, "The light u shined on my actions really hit me like a kick in the teeth. The truth really does hurt. We need to talk." Now, you might be thinking that what my friend said was the great part. Nope, not really. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate it, I'm grateful, and it's wonderful. But the fantastic part was that it confirms a lesson God's been teaching me this year. Being a friend isn't all fun and games. Friendship includes working through the tough stuff. It means giving and receiving rebuke, knowing that it all stems from love. I felt vulnerable & raw in what I wrote, but it was worth it.

I know I need to grow as well. There are some childish "quirks" that I've held onto for far too long. It's time for me to "man up' in a few areas.

I am game. I am ready. I am super grateful to the Lord for working this truth into my life: If the truth is spoken in love & received with a heart of humility, God will change that heart. He desires to sanctify us. He doesn't want us to remain in the same state we came to Him- He wants to transform us!

I'm ready to be a transformer as well as transformed.

Yay God!

Clarity? Check!

So, after much prayer, I finally responded to that email. Let's just say it started out with Proverb 27:6.
I decided to be that faithful friend, regardless of the outcome.

We'll see how this goes.

Good Enough

I received an email that made my heart sink & hope at the same time. Mostly sink, but I'm an eternal optimist (although I fear that may be waning).

I've written a whole response, but I think he deserves to read it before I post it here. Plus, I'm not sure I'm brave enough to let anyone else see me that vulnerable.

The whole situation reminded me of the lyrics at the end of a Sarah McLachlan song called "good enough." Now, that is about physical abuse, and my situation is not at all like that. But there's a dichotomy within me, and these lyrics express it better (much better) than I can at the moment:

Don't tell me why he hasn't been good to you
Don't tell me why he's never been there for you
Don't you know why will never be good enough.

Oh, just let me try, and I will be good to you
Just let me try, and I will be there for you
I'll show you why you're so much more than good enough.
-Sarah McLachlan

My tears have dried momentarily, so I think I'll get ready for bed now. I'm hoping that tomorrow will bring the clarity I pray for so passionately.

Hmmm

"Why do you mess with me?
And why do I continue to let you?
You pop up out of nowhere
As if we're continuing some conversation
As if you hadn't stopped all contact months ago
Digging deeper into that cut
Almost healed, now it's bleeding again
Salt to the wound, you use me, my "friend"
Just to get out of the funk in which you had fallen
I am not your upper
I am not your high
I am not anything to you
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye"

I think one of the hardest things is acknowledging when someone is just not your friend. There are those who are needy, and want your comfort and friendship, but never return either. Somehow, the person thinks it's okay to go to me as if I am required to befriend him/her without any thought of reciprocation.

Sometimes, that's allowed. In ministry, there are often those times when I am happily the giver and not the recipient. However, I think I've allowed that in other areas, and I'm just now getting the point.

It is NOT OKAY to have someone in my life who uses me to make his/her life better, and then dumps on me. It is also not acceptable when someone just drops out of my life & then expects things to go on as if s/he didn't neglect my calls, texts, or emails.

I'm not saying that I don't pray for these people, because I do. I realize that there is some growth on the other person's side that needs to occur. And I will pray, but from afar. I am not always going to be the teacher or mentor. I'm not sure how this is supposed to be lived out, so I will just continue to ask the Lord to show me how to be gentle, loving, humble and yet firm and resolute.