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2010-03-29T14:04:00.001-07:00

Mali 2009

2009-01-15T16:38:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!

As you may remember, I'm on the team heading out to Mali (in Africa)! Our church sponsors the school, where there are now 650 students in attendance. Just thinking of this Christian school in the Muslim nation reminds me of Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." God truly has a wonderful plan for these children (and the nation) of Mali!

Our mission trip to Mali leaves in just a few short days! We'll be heading out on Thursday, January 22nd, and will return on Wednesday, February 4th! Yipes! I'm overwhelmed & excited with each day. In this season of my life, it's been challenging. However, it's been a blessing to be able to pray for the people of Mali and prepare for the trip. While practicing for the VBS we'll be putting on at the school, I am reminded that God loves us, He takes care of His people, He heals us, and is just plain GOOD! God is at work every day, all of the time, and in ways that we can't truly comprehend (see Psalm 40:5).

In addition to the VBS, we'll paint murals at the school (thanks to Vanessa!), do some medical work (thanks to the Dr., PA, & nurse on the team), and outreaches in the city.

I would love for you to partner in prayer with me, & if possible, please consider financially supporting me for this mission trip. I know it's a bit late in the game, but some things haven't turned out as I had hoped. So, do we give up? No way! I know that "Where God guides, God provides," and am confident in that truth! But I also know that, "You have not because you ask not." So, I'm asking, dear friend, that you would "go" on this mission trip with via your financial support.

If the Lord puts it on your heart to provide financially, please write the check out to Calvary Chapel Chino Hills. However, please put a note on it that says "for Rebecca Workman's Missions Account." This will make sure that they know it's for this mission trip.

You can mail the check to:

Calvary Chapel Chino Hills
4201 Eucalyptus Avenue
Chino, CA 91710

Or, if you're at church already, use one of the white envelopes (found on the back of the chairs in the sanctuary or in the office) and write on the front "For Rebecca Workman's Missions Account." You can put it in with the offerings, or you can take it to the office.

If you're not able to financially support me, I totally understand. But I still ask that you would partner with me in prayer! There is power in prayer, and I believe that God wants to use this trip to see many souls saved!

God bless you, dear friends!

Becky Workman
"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise." Prov 11:30

Grace

2008-11-22T14:32:00.000-08:00

It's an amazing, beautiful blessing. Grace. Just thinking of that makes my heart smile. I have seen a transformation that was unexprected and certainly unprecedented. That which once caused sorrow and self-doubt has been drastically altered...and the joy that's come from this renewed relationship...well, there really aren't words to describe it.

I'm absolutely grateful. Absolutely.

Something good is definitely in the works....and that's what I'm talkin' bout.

It's Friday!

2008-10-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

:D

I am so grateful for what the Lord has been doing! I met up with my friend a couple Saturday's ago, and we worked everything out! Seriously, communication skills are not to be underestimated. I was thinking that our friendship was over, but now it's better than it's ever been.

I was so nervous to do the difficult thing, but like the word says, "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17

Yays! Makes me want to skip & sing!

Project Runway

2008-10-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I'm way late in posting about Project Runway, but here's my take on the finale:

Kenely didn't win. She didn't deserve to, not by a long shot.
HOWEVER-
I am absolutely in LOVE with this dress! It's so incredibly creative. The hand-painted detailing is superb, and it's a fun/frilly dress. It makes me want to twirl.

This is the only one of Korto's designs that I thought was Bryant-Park worthy. The garments were nice, but they were looks I felt I'd seen before.

Here's a few from Leanne's line, which just goes to show that I would have to agree with the judges' choice:

I'd want all of these looks (except I wouldn't wear the outfit with the shorts- I just loved that jacket!

Pretty, Pretty clothing.

More Than Meets The Eye

2008-10-08T00:31:00.000-07:00

I stepped out in faith. I did the hard thing by telling someone the painful truth, even though I knew it could mean the end of our friendship. Truth overcame my fear. And God blessed me for it.

I got a great text back. Part of it said, "The light u shined on my actions really hit me like a kick in the teeth. The truth really does hurt. We need to talk." Now, you might be thinking that what my friend said was the great part. Nope, not really. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate it, I'm grateful, and it's wonderful. But the fantastic part was that it confirms a lesson God's been teaching me this year. Being a friend isn't all fun and games. Friendship includes working through the tough stuff. It means giving and receiving rebuke, knowing that it all stems from love. I felt vulnerable & raw in what I wrote, but it was worth it.

I know I need to grow as well. There are some childish "quirks" that I've held onto for far too long. It's time for me to "man up' in a few areas.

I am game. I am ready. I am super grateful to the Lord for working this truth into my life: If the truth is spoken in love & received with a heart of humility, God will change that heart. He desires to sanctify us. He doesn't want us to remain in the same state we came to Him- He wants to transform us!

I'm ready to be a transformer as well as transformed.

Yay God!

Clarity? Check!

2008-10-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

So, after much prayer, I finally responded to that email. Let's just say it started out with Proverb 27:6.
I decided to be that faithful friend, regardless of the outcome.

We'll see how this goes.

Good Enough

2008-10-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

I received an email that made my heart sink & hope at the same time. Mostly sink, but I'm an eternal optimist (although I fear that may be waning).

I've written a whole response, but I think he deserves to read it before I post it here. Plus, I'm not sure I'm brave enough to let anyone else see me that vulnerable.

The whole situation reminded me of the lyrics at the end of a Sarah McLachlan song called "good enough." Now, that is about physical abuse, and my situation is not at all like that. But there's a dichotomy within me, and these lyrics express it better (much better) than I can at the moment:

Don't tell me why he hasn't been good to you
Don't tell me why he's never been there for you
Don't you know why will never be good enough.

Oh, just let me try, and I will be good to you
Just let me try, and I will be there for you
I'll show you why you're so much more than good enough.
-Sarah McLachlan

My tears have dried momentarily, so I think I'll get ready for bed now. I'm hoping that tomorrow will bring the clarity I pray for so passionately.

Hmmm

2008-10-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

"Why do you mess with me?
And why do I continue to let you?
You pop up out of nowhere
As if we're continuing some conversation
As if you hadn't stopped all contact months ago
Digging deeper into that cut
Almost healed, now it's bleeding again
Salt to the wound, you use me, my "friend"
Just to get out of the funk in which you had fallen
I am not your upper
I am not your high
I am not anything to you
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye"

I think one of the hardest things is acknowledging when someone is just not your friend. There are those who are needy, and want your comfort and friendship, but never return either. Somehow, the person thinks it's okay to go to me as if I am required to befriend him/her without any thought of reciprocation.

Sometimes, that's allowed. In ministry, there are often those times when I am happily the giver and not the recipient. However, I think I've allowed that in other areas, and I'm just now getting the point.

It is NOT OKAY to have someone in my life who uses me to make his/her life better, and then dumps on me. It is also not acceptable when someone just drops out of my life & then expects things to go on as if s/he didn't neglect my calls, texts, or emails.

I'm not saying that I don't pray for these people, because I do. I realize that there is some growth on the other person's side that needs to occur. And I will pray, but from afar. I am not always going to be the teacher or mentor. I'm not sure how this is supposed to be lived out, so I will just continue to ask the Lord to show me how to be gentle, loving, humble and yet firm and resolute.

really

2008-09-18T19:29:00.001-07:00

I truly love the way that Adam always encourages me. I was thinking of the forlorn song I wrote last night, and when I went to sing it aloud, I couldn't. I heard Adam's voice telling me that that's not what God would have for me and not to wallow. I don't think he'd use those words, though. It would come out all cool and poignant. That's the other thing about Adam. He has his own way of saying things, and the meaning is slightly different than what one might initially suspect. It's a layers- thing.

I am way grateful for this friend, because I always learn so much, without him even realizing it. I learn about trust, friendship, fidelity, growth, and joy. I can only hope that, someday to someone, I'll be a voice of encouragement in his/her head.

Writing

2008-09-18T06:38:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of ideas for this blog, but right now, I need to get ready for work.
But the ideas are percolating.

Happy Birthday

2008-09-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry
I cannot be there for you
My heart is breaking me in half
But I can't beg to be your friend

I've always wanted to know you more
Yet we never seemed to be a fit
I keep replaying the songs inside my head
sigh sigh sigh don't cry cry cry

Concerts

2008-09-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

I love concerts. Really, truly, madly, & absolutely love concerts.

I recently went to a concert even for Project Hangout. One of my favorites, Trevor Davis, was playing. Tyrone Wells closed the evening, and I must say, he's one of my new favorites.

Here are a few pics from the evening.

Specific abilities, Kingdom dreams

2008-09-02T22:55:00.000-07:00

" 'Why spend money
on what is not bread,
and your labor
on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me,
and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight
in the richest of fare.' "
(Isaiah 55:2)

Life is more than living for the paycheck. Financial stability is nice, but it never truly satisfies the soul. It just allows one to pursue things to fill one's life, but when we try to find fulfilment in physical pleasures, we miss out on God's best.

We should be giving our all to the Lord, and seeing what He would have for our lives. How am I serving God in what I'm doing?

Can we be so bold to think that God created us with specific abilities that are unique, and because of which we are uniquely called? I hope so.

I'm just not sure what that is right now. However, I do believe that as I take these steps in life, the Lord will lead and direct me .

Update on Update

2008-09-02T08:06:00.001-07:00

I've totally neglected this blog, and I know it's because I've used it more as a personal journal than anything else. And, let's face it, I'll never be as forthcoming online as I would in a journal that I'd handwrite. There are just too many ways to misinterpret things, and really, not all thoughts need to be explored by others.

However, I do like having something "out there" as a reminder of sorts. That being stated, I have an update:

I AM OFFICIALLY A COLLEGE STUDENT AGAIN!

Yay! After 8 or so years, I've enrolled and am taking a class at Chaffey College. I know, it's only one class, but I had to work classes in with my day job. I'm excited, because it's a critical thinking course, and I've been needing to sharpen the mind up a bit. The professor seems pretty liberal, and I know that he has had a negative experience with Christianity, so I am praying that I do well in the class itself and represent Christ in my good work habits, in my faithfulness in class, and as opportunity is presented, that I communicate the Truth in love and humility.

"With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." John 19:26

WORD!

A personal reminder

2008-08-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

*Sings "Why can't we be friends; Why can't we be friends; Why can't we be friends."

Or at least able to be in the same circle without a sense of aggrevation?

I "bumped" into a former friend while playing a game on Facebook. She seemed amicable enough, so I figured things had mellowed out. I didn't plan on going back into that particular gameroom, because I don't really want a friendship with this person. However, I was grateful to see that, if for some reason we "bumped" into each other again, there would be no emotional damage.

Or so I thought.

I hadn't checked out her profile since Facebook first recommended we might know each other, so I thought I'd see what was new. Curiosity- sometimes, it's just not worth it. Why so? Her status title was something like "SOANDSO thinks Becky needs to stop playing in my playground.." or something to that effect.

My initial reaction irritation. This person keeps a long grudge-list, and I had hoped I was crossed off of it already. No such luck. Her bitterness always surprises me, because it's just not worth the effort. My next desire was to just take the hit, be a peace maker, and write an apology for steping in her sandbox. It was a single's thing, and I don't really tred in those places anyway (it was actually my first visit). So, I thought I'd just assure her that I wasn't trying to be friends again, and that I hoped we'd be cool if for some reason we did encounter one another once more.

But you know, I don't see the point. If she hasn't put the past behind her yet, then I don't think there's anything I could say or write that would change that. I have forgiven her; I no longer have ill will towards her. It saddens me greatly, though, that someone would hold onto something petty like this. It also bugs me that I would even think twice about it, let alone blog about it. However, I firmly believe that if we forget the past, we are doomed to repeat it. So this is a reminder to me:

Be careful to choose friends wisely.
Don't be assertive with something that is petty.
Never try to reason with someone who is be unreasonable- it's an exercise in futility.
and to quote Kenny Rogers,
"Know when to walk away; Know when to run."

There's no link to this blog that would lead her here, but if she ever did read this, I hope that she would see that I mean no harm; it's just time to move on, isn't it? I like the quote, "it's better to forget than to remember me and cry." I think one could insert, "than to remember me and be aggrevated."

That's my option, at least. This is my personal reminder.

College Credits

2008-06-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

I finally received my transcripts, and here are the units that are applicable:

A- 3 units: Newswriting
B 3 units: Beginning Photography
A 1 unit: Volleyball
A 3 units:History/United States
B 1 unit: Advanced Volleyball
A- 1 unit: Body Conditioning
B 3 units: Phil-70 (Intro to Philosophy)
B 3 units: Phil-72 (Seminar in Ethics)
B 3 units: CIS-1
B 3 units: Physical Anthropology
B+ 3 units: Intro Into Sociology
B 4 units: Elementary Spanish
B 3 units: Intro to Psychology
C+ 4 units: Elementary Algebra
A 4 units: Elementary Spanish
B+ 3 units: Composition

Degree Applicable: 46 units

Clearly, I have an aversion to the math/sciences! I'm going to try to get a biology class w/ lab for next semester. Either that, or the next math class. I think that's college Algebra, though. Yikes. I'm not sure I'm ready for algebra, since I haven't done that for, um, EIGHT YEARS. Yeah. So, Biology it is...if they have those classes at the extension campus.

Goals update

2008-06-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

A month or so ago, I had the following goals:

*Lose 30 lbs
*Get my transcripts from college & determine how many units are still viable
*Return to college this fall (2008)
*Get a job closer to home
*Cell phone
*save $1000
*get a new (or new to me) car

Since then, I have received my transcripts. I'm calling Chaffey tomorrow to make an appointment with a councelor to determine how many will transfer. I'm going back to school to receive my business BS, with the emphasis on Human Resources. First step is to get my AA in business. I'll need that so I can transfer to any Cal State I get into.

I also purchased a new cell phone. Yay.

As for weight, I actually gained some weight. I'm up to 167, which is 12lbs more than I was when I made that first goal. But I am undetered. I will be 125lbs before the end of the year. If that's too few lbs for me, fine. I'll go up to 130, but I think that's a good weight conidering my height and frame.

I have saved $600. Unfortunately, that is going to go toward my upcoming Lake Tahoe Vacation. However, I suppose it's better than putting that all on a credit card.

I still have a lot to accomplish, but I'm on my way! I can do it, and by the grace of my Lord Jesus, I will do it!

Use That Hip-Hop Down Beat

2008-03-29T15:05:00.000-07:00

This morning, my alarm went off to Disco Saturday Morning. One would think that would be enough to get me out of bed.

WRONG!

I just hit snooze. About a half-hour later, Tank the Kitten was pawing at my door, and meowing to let me know that his day was not complete without his human. So, another five minutes of making him wait (I am a lady, after all), and I rolled outta bed.

Things aren't as heavy as they were jesterday. I've still got a lot on my mind, but I think I'll put that on hold while I go do my hip-hop workout.

HOLLLLA!

Sleep is a reconciling

2008-03-29T02:25:00.000-07:00

A rest that Peace begets.

I should definitely be asleep. I've been tired (and slightly moody) all day. Yet, I went out to sushi with roomie. I then followed that up with after hours at Extreme, leaving there sometime around midnight. I've been up checking out new music and videos. And, though I've made some great finds, it doesn't negate the fact that I'm still up at 2:30 AM.

I have a million things running through my mind. I've been thinking about my family* and all of the sadness that has befallen us lately. I'm trying to dertermine if a friend is challenging me or causing discontentment within me. I'm struggling with death and life and expectations. I need to read the Word, and stop strutting around in this mental mire.

Okay, I'm off to that. Possibly Phil 4:4-8.... rejoice in the Lord alway, and again I say rejoice. Let your gentleness be made know to all, the Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, let your requests be made known God. And the peace of God, which surpasses your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is pure, whatever is good, whatever is nobel, if there is anything praiseworthy, mediate on these things.

Oh, even that memorized portion has lifted my spirit. Thank You, Jesus.

(note: must call Tina to check on game schedule; then must call sister before she disowns me again).

Ch-ch-changes

2008-03-28T14:35:00.000-07:00

I have to make some changes. I know I said that yesterday, but as I sit on this conference call with a merchant who refuses to use her brain, it's become all the more clear.

I have a few goals in mind that I'd put out there, as an accountability of sorts. Here they go:

*Lose 30 lbs
*Get my transcripts from college & determine how many units are still viable
*Return to college this fall (2008)
*Get a job closer to home
*Cell phone
*save $1000
*get a new (or new to me) car

Without goals, I'm aimless.

So, regarding these goals:
*I've already lost 40lbs, and am starting up a new workout regimen. I have another blog going for that one that which includes calorie counting and workout strategy.

Okay, that's going to have to be it for now, because the call has ended and it's back to keying deals.

Ciao!

Time Isn't On Our Side

2008-03-27T22:16:00.001-07:00

Well, I found out on Saturday that my aunt Toi died...last November.

Yeah, you read that correctly. It's a long story, but my dad's an alcoholic, and is estranged from his brother. However, I've always kept in contact with my Aunt Toi and Uncle Fred (and my cousins). Granted, I'm not the most consistent, but I make sure to call a few times a year. My uncle tried to get in contact with us earlier, but I guess my aunt had our numbers in her yahoo contact section, and he didn't know her password. It's strange that hackers can get our most personal information, but a spouse couldn't get even past the password.

Anyway, it's made me re-evaluate how I spend my time. I love to spend time with my family, but I get so distracted. I'm the kind who will be down to hang out any time, but if you don't call me, it doesn't happen. Most of my free time (ie, time not at work) is unplanned, except for choir practice on Tuesday nights and Bible Study on Wednesday evening and Sunday morning. Everything else is wide open to suggestion, and that's how I roll.

But the fact that my aunt has been in heaven for four months now makes me think about things differently. I need to be more purposeful with my time, and not just go with the flow. I realize that, if I just go with the flow, I'm not going in any particular direction- I'm aimless. And that is just unacceptable.

I'm really praying about how to go about changing. I've started in another area, and this one is even more important. I guess that's how things go, though. Baby steps. My first one was emailing my sister in law for my nieces' softball schedule. I want to make sure I'm at every game on the weekend, and as many as I can make on the weekdays. If she doesn't email me back, then I'm going to stop by tomorrow after work. That's another thing. They live around the corner, and I don't see them nearly enough. I was raised to call before going to visit. My brother doesn't have this rule, though, and it's tough to break these things that are so ingrained. However, I am determined to make changes, and this has to be one of them.

There are more little epiphanies, but Aunt Toi's death coupled with the death of Laurie (my step-brother's mom), has left me drained. I'm grateful, because both were lovers of Jesus. I know they are with Him even now, and that gives me peace and joy. But my heart aches. It's hard, because I'm generally a very upbeat person, so it's very noticable when I'm not doing as well. If I were the meloncholy type, or just regular in emotions, I don't think anyone would notice. But I usually have a smile on my face at all times, so when that is gone, people want to know why. I appreciate the concern my friends (and sometimes acquaintances) have for me. BUT- like my smile used to be, my tears come just as easily these days. I'm tired of crying, but I know that is part of mourning. So, I'll endure the pain and persevere, and I know that "joy will come in the morning." Which morning, I'm not sure. But it will come.

Time. We always think we have enough, but it's amazing how easily it slips through our fingers.

still silent

2008-03-05T23:49:00.000-08:00

sitting here
sitting here alone
sitting here alone and
all alone I sit

still silent sorrowful
sympathetic songs serenade
strums and sirens seem soothing
still, silently sorrowful

sitting here
siting her alone
sitting here alone
and all alone I stay

I'm tired

2008-01-22T22:14:00.001-08:00

There. I said it. Now I'm going to the gym. Don't wait up.

2007

2007-12-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
I was dumped as a friend. I've had friendships fade, but I've never been dumped before. Quite a shock to the system.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept one resolution- to lose weight. I didn't give myself an exact amount, so I'm covered. Just in case you're wondering, I've lost 31 lbs. And yes, that 1lb is worth mentioning! I did not keep my resolution to read the bible through in a year...I missed weeks in my daily reading. Also, I didn't keep up with my 365/day photo project. I last one hundred and thirty three days. I think it seems more profound when I write the number out like that. Believe me, taking a picture of oneself everyday is not as easy as one would think. I've yet to organize my room, or learn the thriller dance, so unless I can do that in the next few weeks, those will go back on the list for next year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My boss Bob (in the blue, next to Rick) died the morning after Thanksgiving. He was a very kind and generous man, and the loss has been felt greatly.

5. What countries did you visit?

Mexico. Ah, Casa Celestial, I miss you already!

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A better job is on my list. You know, one that is officially full time and pays. Perhaps one that is closer to home. Oh, and you know, a honey would be nice. :D

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Sadly, no real date comes to mind. It wasn't that kind of year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
There was a cognitive shift this year. I think that is my biggest achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Keeping my same habits of procrastination and tardiness.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I've been sick this fall. I'm sick right now, actually. Still have a bugger of a cough.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Contacts

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I think my roomie is the most fantastic woman I've ever met. She deals with things with graciousness.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I'm a lady who will not name names. But I did have my heart broken this year- it was both appauling and depressing.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Gas

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Ministering to the Marines in Hawaii tops the list!
Oh, and my brother finally giving his whole life over to Jesus. There has been such a transformation!!!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
"This Time" from August Rush

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? same
b) thinner or fatter? thinner
c) richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Playing with my nieces, spending time with my sister in law and my family in general. I wish I would've spent more time with my close friends. Also, I wish I would've spent more time studying the bible. I don't mean just reading, I mean disecting things in a way to suss out my beliefs. Oh, and I wish I would've been more proactive with my life.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Wasting time on the internet. I'm not saying that it's all a waste- it's totally not! But I did mismanage my time. Also, I wish I had done less worrying and complaining about my life.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my family! For the first time in 5 years, I will be able to spend Christmas Eve at my brother's house without having to get there late because of choir.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
A resounding NO

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Well, I finally got into Heroes, and was able to watch it consistently. But I think my favorite is "Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare."

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone. That's a very strong emotion, and one that is rather selfish. I have had relationships that did not go as planned, but I have forgiven them (and myself), and have reconciled those relationships as much as I possibly could. The rest is up to God, and I leave it in His highly capable hands. I am making it my aim to "as much as possible, live peaceably amoung all."

24. What was the best book you read?

Every Woman's Battle- very important in working on emotional and sexual integrity.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Okay, it's not a musician or band, but my greatest discovery was the Gospel Music Chanel. It's MTV for Christians, but with a better rotatation. They play r&b, pop, hip-hop, alternative, metal, and (even though I'm not big on it) country music. So, it's "Gospel" in the truest sense of the word- The Good News.

26. What did you want and get?
I wanted to get sponsored to go to Hawaii, and for the most part, and I totally did!

27. What did you want and not get?
A new job...so far.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a birthday party at my place, and I went to the Getty Museum and had dinner with friends. I turned 30.

30.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More time with God. I know, it sounds cliche, but it's so the truth. It would have been better than getting a new job, new car, and new guy all at once (all of which are on my Christmas list.)

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I made a few upgrades. Purchased less, but more quality items. I'm not a fashionista, but I do have my own style.

32. What kept you sane?
That begs the question. :D I'd say prayer with Travis and Tony, my choir peeps, music, and coffee. Believe me, that last one is not a typo.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Fancy? hehe. You know, I don't usually think about celebs...but probably the old standards- Jack Black, Matthew McConaugHEY, Johnny Depp, along with new-to-me's Jonathan Rhys Meyers Robin Thicke
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
American foreign policy

35. Who did you miss?
My family in South Carolina and Rob- I've probably seen them with the same frequency, sadly.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Best? No way can I answer that. I was blessed with a lot of new friends this year, and they have stayed friends throughout the year, which is even more endearing. :D Oh, and all my new online friends? I couldn't say how much you all mean to me.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
There is a time to let go.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds

Before Cable

2007-12-13T16:23:00.002-08:00

"The heights by great men reached and kept,
Were not attained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ah, yes. Great accomplishments occur with great work. Somehow, I choose to ignore the facts. Instead of taking care of daily tasks (which would ultimately lead to a peaceful and uncluttered life), I curl up on my unmade bed and flip between reruns of Scrubs and The O.C.

Yep. Today, I was to turn in resumes and fill out employment applications. Or at least I could've picked up another day at work. Old habits die hard, I suppose. I did fill out an online application....so today was not a complete waste of time. But I still have to prepare for a bible study that I'm leading tonight.

SO, enough about me and my failures. Time to talk with God and see what He has to say about things.

Lyrics Mirror Life

2007-12-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

I've too have been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines. I think I have been afraid to move on, thinking that my ideas will only lead to heartache. And I haven't heard much from Him lately. I've been afraid to ask. But oh, something has to change.

This Time from the August Rush Soundtrack

Tonight the sky above
Reminds me of you, love
Walking through wintertime
Where the stars all shine
The angel on the stairs
Will tell you I was there
Under the front porch light
On a mystery night

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

The neon lights in bars
And headlights from the cars
Have started a symphony
Surrounding me
The things I left behind
Have melted in my mind
And now there's a purity
Inside of me

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

I've been sitting watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back ? Could I get you off my mind
This time

Birthday Baby!

2007-01-17T13:48:00.000-08:00

What do I want for my birthday?'

Hmmm, good question. I would love: this
I have a Sony DSC-P200, so if you have the cash or wanted to go in with someone on a memory card (I can always use an extra), that would be cool. Or, if you wanted to get the card reader, it's about $14 on the site above.

I trust your style judgment, so:

*cute belt (big girl size)
*small to mid-size purse
*Clueless (I cannot believe I don't own that movie!!)
*size 8 1/2 converse (ok if I don't get them by sat)
*Any cd's that you want to burn for me would be an easy low-cost birthday present!!

And, since I'm brokey-broke, any gift card to my favorite places. I promise, it would not seem impersonal- it would be great!

*Target
*Best Buy
*Bath & Body Works
*Old Navy
*Starbucks
*Mervyns
*Fantastic Sam's (even a little will be good towards a style and cut)
*Gift card to get a pedicure near you, so that we could go & get one together some Saturday or Sunday

Wow. That was easier than I thought!

A Little Less Me

2006-12-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

I'm out of my head, yeah already gone
I've been waiting for something
Or someone to come along
And take me for a ride
Yeah, but on a simple path
I just need something more
Is that too much to ask?

A journal entry
A sideways grin
I'm looking for a light
'cause there's not one within

I've been too much to carry
I've been too long alone
I've was just looking to play
But had forgotten: I'm grown

Yeah, I'm out of my head; I'm already gone
Feeling a little less me
Can't you tell by this song?

Light Out Of Darkness

2006-12-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

In 1818, in the town of Oberndorf, Autsria, on a cold Christmas Eve, the organist discovered the organ could not be used for the evening services. Mice had eaten the leather bellows and ruined it. It seemed there would be no music at Oberndorf's Christmas Eve service.

But Vicar Joseph Mohr and Franz Gruber put their heads and talents together...and wrote an new song, one that didn't need the organ but that could be played on a guitar. "Stille Nacht" was introduced that night at midnight mass- and today "Silent Night" is sung around the world in more than ninety languages. What appeared to be a tragedy birthed something new and lasting.

As you look on your own life, what births do you see waiting to emerge from the difficulties you may encounter this Christmas season? Human disasters are often the very circumstances that God uses to shine light into our lives.

-by Viole Ruekle Gommer

What a thought! Even though not being able to use an organ may not really fall into the "tragedy" category, it still must have been very frustrating and disheartening to those in charge of the Christmas Eve service. And yet, Mohr and Gruber seized the opportunity to seek God and ask, "What would You have us to do in this circumstance?" God answered that prayer, and not only allowed them to be a blessing that Christmas, but for almost 200 years afterward. We're singing an accapella version of "Silent Night" for our Christmas Eve service this year.

So, I am asking my self the question of Gommer, "What births do I see waiting to emerge from the difficulties I am encountering this Christmas season?" There are a few- car problems, financial hardships, interpersonal miscommunications...and right now I ask God, "Please show me what You want me to do with these things." I cannot wait to see how He leads and guides me. I am open to whatever He has, because that's when the truly amazing occurs. That's when things that I would never dream of accomplishing become reality- and with an impact that lasts! I pray that you ask him to lead and guide you, too. I know you won't be disappointed!

Happy Birthday!!!

2006-11-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

To my Debbye friend!
I love you, sweet thang!

I need to be like Ted

2006-10-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 9, to be greeted by Ted the cat at my door. Did he want to be fed? No. Did he want to go outside? Nope. He just wanted me give him loves and to shower me with purrs. Gotta love that.

Afterwards, I went next door to water the lawn. Our next door neighbor (Roy) moved, but is still trying to sell the house. And, he's graciously paid me (in advance) to keep his lawn nice and green. Front, back, and back trees must be watered. So, upon coming around from the back yard, I noticed an elderly gentleman knocking on the door. I called out to him that no one was home, and when he turned around, all I saw was a really sad face.

He asked if Roy was around, and I told him he moved. He seemed pretty shocked when I explained that Roy left two weeks ago. "Roy and I went to breakfast with a group every Saturday," the man mumbled. "We worked together at Rockwell for 15 years, and every Saturday we go to breakfast."

I was quick to tell him that Roy almost got away without anyone in the neighborhood knowing. The only reason Paula & I were able to say goodbye was because we needed him to feed Chevy while we were at the women's retreat. And all Roy said, and rather casually, too, was that he was going to be leaving Sunday night, so if we were going to be gone, Bonnie would have to feed Chevy that night.

I asked the man his name, and instead of answering, he asked, "Did you know Roy's wife, Laura?" I had an initial inkling to repeat my question, but I've learned that sometimes just listening to what's on the mind of our elders is better than the answers of questions that can wait.

I responded with a no, and he began to tell me about Laura's tragic death. It appears that she was at a neighbors house, talking to the man working on the roof. She had been there awhile, when a roofing truck pulled up to the house. Apparently, the driver was looking at the man on the roof, and didn't see Laura Lee standing in the driveway.

Laura Lee was rushed to the hospital, where she was tended to overnight. They sent her home, telling her she should be well in a few days, or a week, tops. Well, instead of getting better, Laura kept getting worse, and Roy took his sweetheart back to the hospital. They ran tests, and found out that Laura Lee had a ruptured spleen. She died shortly thereafter.

After sharing the terrible story with me, Roy's friend says, "Oh, and my name's Al Fischer. It's the German spelling, with a "c" in between the "s" and the letter h."

We spoke for a little while longer, and I ended up giving Roy's new address and phone number. And I reiterated that Roy wasn't snubbing him by leaving without saying goodbye; it was just for Roy to leave, period. Al nodded, and by the story he had told me, I'm certain he understood.

The whole conversation gave me pause, as I wondered about how much I miss by being so talkative and outgoing. I had never really know details of the life of someone I considered to be a great friend. I know I inquired into Roy's life more than the some other neighbors, and simply because of my youth, I could get away with it. I would ask him about his walks with Paula's dog (Chevy), or tell him about my mom (they were in house fellowship together before she moved), and even request prayer for things in my life. It just seems to me that I didn't invest enough time with the kind, compassionate, yet solitary widower next door. Time and being quiet for once would've helped, too. I think Mr. Fischer told me more about who Roy was then I learned from Roy the whole 4 1/2 years I lived next door to him.

I think one of the things (of a few) I'll take away from today's conversation is that I need to be more of like Ted the Cat. I want to spend more time showing the love!

Book Meme

2006-09-23T01:44:00.000-07:00

The Book Meme

A book that changed my life
Without hesitation, it would be the Bible.

A book I've read more than once
Too many to list. I think I've read the Hinds Feet For High Places by Hannah Hurnard eight or nine times, at least. It's a beautiful analogy of what it means to follow the Shepherd to the Kingdom of Love. A definite must-read. I've also read Perelandra, by C.S. Lewis so many times, I've lost count. It's the second book in his Space Trilogy.

A book I'd take with me if I were stuck on a desert island
How To Find Your Way Home From A Deserted Island- A How-To Guide =D

A book that made me laugh
Okay, I'll admit it: Bridget Jones's Diary, by Helen Fielding. I actually read the sequel, too. Eeeks! But the title character's self-deprecation is, well, identifiable.

A book that made me cry
The Witching Hour by Anne Rice. It's haunting (no pun intended), alluring, and intense. I love the way Rice weaves the generations together in her novels.

A book that I wish had been written
The Workman Family Genealogy. My grandfather was working on it, with his lady-friend typing it up (my grandma had died forty or so years earlier), but he died before he was able to complete it. Somehow, in the time of mourning, all of the data was misplaced; no record remains. I miss my grandpa.

A book that I wish had never been written
Just one? You have to be kidding me! But, hey, that's what freewill is all about, baby.

A book I've been meaning to read
The Tabernacle, The Priesthood, and The Offerings, by Soltau

I'm currently reading
The Red Tent, by Anita Diamont. It's the fictional account of Dinah, daughter of Jacob, sister of those who would become the heads of the twelve tribes of Israel. Yet, it's not like any other rendition of events in biblical times. It's told from the woman's voice, Dinah's point of view. She weaves the story of her mothers- Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah, and will (eventually, I'm sure) lead up to her rape and life afterward, which is never explored in the Genesis. I'm taking in (or at least, trying to) what it really meant to be a woman in ancient times, and am hoping that perspective will enrich the way I think about the sacrifices of the women of whom I've read about, but whose stories I've generally overlooked.

I'm also reading Isaiah & Galatians in my daily Bible reading, as well as James during my lunch break.

I'm supposed to tag someone, so they fill this out & request others to do so as well, so.... Frankie, you're up!

Smile

2006-08-31T13:06:00.000-07:00

Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

- Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons

Enough said

2006-08-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

"Happy are those who keep My ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and do not refuse it. Happy is the man listening to Me, watching daily at My gates, keeping watch at My doorposts."

Today I read: Nehemiah 7:73-9:21
The best thing I underlined: Nehemiah 8:10 & 9:5

Thought: The Levites called the people to stand and praise God! That's the response once we've 1) read the Word of God and 2) confessed and worshipped God.

How it impressed me: Reading God's word leads to confession and repentance, which leads to worshipping and praising God for who He is. We're not to stay down-hearted after repenting. That's never been what our Savior has wanted. We're to give praise to our God for all He's done, especially for His faithfulness in our weakness. He is worthy, and praising Him is what happens when we speak about God's wonders and faithfulness.

Jealous Much?

2006-06-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm packing up, getting ready to leave for Lake Tahoe! Yay! I'll be back around the 9th, so take care!

Set My Guitar On Fire With A Long-Stemmed Match

2006-06-29T00:35:00.000-07:00

Talk about a flashback! I was rummaging through my room, attempting to get everything packed for Lake Tahoe, when I stumbled upon an old cd cover. The cd itself is long gone, thanks to the thief who broke into my car on my 24th birthday. The memories, however, were more sudden and vivid than I would have ever imagined they could be.

I remember when I found the cd. It was in a bin at Rite Aid, and was only $2.99. I had never heard of the band before, but with a name like "The Choir" I thought it would at least be interesting.

I brought it back to the home of my then-boyfriend, and we listened to it together. The cd became part of our regular rotation (that with U2, The Cure, Dead Can Dance, Tony Bennett & the Prayer Chain). In his room, in his car- it was on all the time. And he'd look steadily into my eyes as he sang along, and I would've sworn that he meant every word. Maybe he did at the time, but love is fickle when you're young.

I downloaded the song, but now I'm not so sure it was a good idea. I'm hesitant because it reminds me more and more of love lost. No, I don't hold a torch for him any longer. I'm merely saddened that the last (and only) time I was in love was nine years ago!

But I'm not affected for the reasons one might expect! I am perfectly content to wait for God's best in all things, especially love. I know I'm not to "arouse or awaken love until it so desires," as the Song of Songs states so rightly. I've seen too many heartaches in the lives of those around me to capriciously become entangled with another soul. It's just disheartening that I've pushed away so many "good ones" out of a fear that I would just mess things up. I put up the "friends only" sign so quickly that I'm left wondering if I even know how to let things just develop.

Hmm, curious. I think that's enough for tonight. Here are the lyrics to the song, since I'm sure it'll be off my site before I leave tomorrow.

Cover You

Set my guitar on fire
With a long-stemmed match
Dance while it burns
And laugh when it turns to ash
I would torch everything to keep you warm
I would do anything to keep you from harm

I would do anything
To cover you body and soul, girl
I would give everything in the world
To cover you, to cover you

Walk down a dark street
Naked on a winter night
Run from the law
Like the Sunday I saw the light
To defend you your spirit I would go to war
I would chase the devil to Jehovahs door

I would do anything
To cover you body and soul, girl
I would give everything in the world
To cover you
I would do anything
To wrap you up tight on a cold night
I would give everything that I have
To cover you, to cover you

Holla!

2006-04-21T13:19:00.000-07:00

Okay,

So, since I've been missing out on some pretty important things in my friends lives, I decided to jump on the blog train. I held out for quite awhile, I must add.

Part of the reason is I hate trying to be clever. I am at times, but it comes and it goes. So, this will be all me: the good, the bad, and the extra cheesy!

Enjoy!